dear God…

I can’t keep going through this. I keep crying out to you God and when I think it’s of you, it turns out not to be. I don’t understand why! What is it that I am missing??? I try to follow my heart and hear you, but it’s not working. Are you saying, “practice patience even more???” I can’t. I’m spent. My heart hurts more than I care to admit. I was meant to love, freely and deeply. Am I supposed to be helping people from their emptiness?? Because I need saving myself. What lessons are you trying to teach me, God?? There’s so many options for the direction of my life and I am so incredibly lost… again. Maybe the road I’m supposed to be taking is the one I struggle the most with. I’m not pursuing it, but still only talking about it. Is that what you’re saying?? -trw

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