today a.k.a. sweetest day

I used to think that this day was so important. I used to quickly defend Sweetest Day when people would say to me, “it’s just a Hallmark holiday”, or “it’s no big deal, it’s just another day”. Today I actually figured out possibly why so many other girls have felt the same way as me. This is only my opinion, but I think it’s because most girls want that fairytale relationship all year round and most don’t have one. Let me tell you, that it is very rare. Sweetest Day is just a day for you to force your man to do something nice for you. I know you’re probably getting defensive after reading that, but come on, you KNOW you have to continuously remind him because let’s face it, you want to feel special for at least one day away from your everyday life. In a lot of cases, as I’ve witnessed, guys who are less of a boyfriend/ husband throughout the entire year try to make up for it on a day like today. They buy the best flowers, a mushy card, take you out to a nice lunch/ dinner, maybe a movie and have to spend time with you so you won’t give him grief about it later for missing it. You’ve probably even whined about it or hinted around at the fact that in one week or in two days… “hey babe, it’s Sweetest day, don’t forget!” Girls may have even felt rejection or the pressure to force the issue for the next year because after that one Sweetest Day a friend may have asked, “what did he get you?” or “did you guys do anything together?”  Everyone wants to feel loved, wanted, and cared about for at least one day out of the year. I feel like a lot of girls are in relationships/ marriages that they have settled for and are truly not with the right person whether they have kids or not. I’m speaking from experience on this from many relationships that I have had throughout the years. I HAVE felt that pressure. It sucks when everyone around you is getting gifts or spending time with their man and you’re at home feeling sorry for yourself with or without your man. Been there. One of my girlfriends, who I used to work with, told me that her and her husband never celebrated Sweetest Day or Valentine’s Day. I thought that was crazy! I thought she was only saying that because her husband had convinced her that it was just a stupid Hallmark holiday. She said, “no, everyday is special.” In my head I was thinking, yeah right! That sounds like an impossible relationship.

I haven’t celebrated this day since my divorce and it finally makes sense to me.  If you’re alone, you should love and be content with yourself. If you’re in a relationship in which you appreciate each other everyday, then Sweetest Day will be just another day. It shouldn’t feel forced or obligated for anyone.  I worked in plenty of corporate offices as a receptionist where guys would give me their credit card, have me pick out flowers and have them delivered to their girlfriend/ wife/ mistress. I’ve seen so many guys in the store buying a card five minutes before he meets up with her. Where is the thought and effort in this? One of my favorite lines was, “son of a bitch, I forgot to get you something, but I was planning on taking you out for dinner and a movie.” Yeah right, dude. Now at this point you’re just feeling not so special. Some people genuinely celebrate it together or with their kids as a family and that is awesome! I love seeing true happiness. Although I do not celebrate Sweetest Day anymore, I know that some people want it, need it or believe in it.

The impossible relationship I thought my girlfriend had, does exist… wait for it! Celebrate each other in many ways: respect, appreciation, thoughtfulness, communication and support. -trw

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